SCO Takes FSF to Court for Invalid IP Licensing

Author
Niscenus
Editor
Aron Schatz
Posted
July 13, 2007
Views
25548
SCO Takes FSF to Court for Invalid IP Licensing
An insight into the mind of Santa Cruz Operations, and why they'll succeed. SCO files for a delay to strengthen their case by first attacking the original pirates. SCO won't go down until after they've take GNU and Linux down first.

Page 1: SCO

SCO has filed a delay on judgment for both of its active suits to enter a battle to defend their intellectual property from a group of people whom CEO Darl McBride referred to as, "IP Terrorists." The FreeSoftwareFoundation is a group of Che Guevara-style /hackers/ that designed the infamous Generic Publication Licensing, which is the ultimate weakness in all companies that use what so many ignorant wanna-be-pundit bloggers call "Linux."

For those of you who aren't in the know, or only follow these cases via poorly researched blogs, like, nederfreak Pamela "PJ" Jones' groklaw, which is the same thing, we'll include a synopsis of this significantly important chunk of history, before explaining the overall impact on the world.

Back in the eighties, when computers were barely capable of atari-level power, a stinky, hairy folk dancing hippie decided no one should be forced to pay for future computers, or, more importantly, the stuff that makes them work, software. His name was Richard Stallman, and his mission was to avoid paying for future games for his Atari. The only thing that stood in his way was the United States of America's Intellectual Property Offices.

Richard Meredith Stallman personally wrote the famous Generic Publication Licensing scheme, or GPL, to exploit the errors in the design of the US IP system, that, at the time couldn't even manage patenting software. Software is the easiest thing to patent by the oldest system, where you once had to show something actually worked, and math works, and that's what software is -- MATH. That's all computers do -- compute. Compute = Maths.

Richard Martha Stallman maybe a filthy, pot-smoking hippie who's THC saturation is high enough to cause permanent insanity, but in his less heady days, he realized exactly what was wrong with all the new "Opened Source" crapware that had started to over-fill the tubes of the Internets. Simply, it was poor licensing made by people unversed in law, like the attention-grabbing /para/legal Pamela "-Thor's-Worlden-" Jones, whom I'll get to later.

Dickie Stallman, this overweight older-than-multics version of Phineas T. Freakears, then did something truly awful. Using the arcane room-filling computers at the otherwise prestigious Massachusetts Institute of Technology, stealing the then expensive processor time and access to a number of Internets, he founded his own online organization, the FreeSoftwareFoundation, which, today, is the only entity that can claim to own what rumor mongers like Pamela Kaaskop Jones refer to only as Linux.

While people who spread Fear Uncertainty and Doubt (FUD), like Pamela "Krijg de kanker, McBride" Jones, like to call the over-hyped and never used "Linux," just "Linux." In reality, "Linux" only refers to some tiny, less useful part of the software. The FreeSoftwareFoundation created the useful bits under the moniker GNU, which doesn't actually mean anything. Thus, the proper name for Linux is GNULinux, which is best pronounced "New Line Sucks."

Here's the cornerstone of the problem, the US Patent Office can now manage software, which means the holes the GP Licensing scheme exploited are no longer valid. When the pot smoke cleared, the FreeSoftwareFoundation, maintained by Richard Maryanne Stallman, three illegitimate children, 12 strung-out hippies, 12 Linux Users "lusers" (24 sub-humans in all) and a goat (25), realized the problem. They have since produced a new version of the Generic Publication Licensing scheme that sidesteps the existence of the new patent system into the hands of similar interweb filth.

But before that can happen, Santa Cruz Operations has to stop the FreeSoftwareFoundation from getting anyone to use the new license, and to prove the preceding versions are no longer valid in a court of law. SCO, brilliantly run by Darl McBride, had it's own software patents illegally distributed by IBM using the now invalid Generic Publication Licensing scheme, merely because the patented software had been incorporated, for the benefit of the customers, into portions of GNULinux.

People, like Pamela "Hippie Humper" Jones may want you to believe that this is something SCO did to itself. They want you to believe that by incorporating their patents into GNULinux, they forced them to be released under the invalid GP Licensing scheme. However, this simply isn't true. In fact, that barely useful kernel which accelerated Linus Torvaldi to such fame that he actually got people to refer to the software under his own name, that kernel possess no less than 13 different licensing, some of which are just references to possibly existing or otherwise no longer valid licenses.

Richard Mingy Stallman knows that will be the straw that will chime midnight at the FreeStore that is this Opened Source Bizarre. Pamela Unpoontanged Jones knows that when the FreeSoftwareFoundation falls, so falls, "Linux."
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